Things get real in that moment after you have a child. You realize you’re a grown-up and someone is looking to you for guidance, direction, comfort, and security – for everything, really. And that real-life moment happens again and again and again. My story of faith is one of those moments.
I married an attorney who decided to go back to his roots and refine his tractor driving skills. After three years of Law School and a promising legal career in Las Vegas, we decided it just wasn’t what we wanted for our family. Two weeks after we made that decision we were in the beautiful valley of Grace, Idaho. What was I doing? I didn’t know anything about farming, or living a tiny town, but I loved what farming did for my husband, and I looked forward to a simple life in the country.
February 2014 was a crisp one, however, not much snow was on the ground. Water levels were severely low, and famers in the community were very anxious. We were all worried about how the crops would survive the next year. Meanwhile, my sweet six-year-old daughter was having some worries of her own. She had struggled since Christmas with knowing what was real and what wasn’t. She questioned us repeatedly about Santa, the Easter Bunny, Leprechauns, and so on. She was trying to figure out why we talked about these things as if they weren’t real. One night we were reading from the Book of Mormon (another book of scripture about Jesus Christ read by Latter-day Saints or Mormons) and our conversation went like this:
“Is Jesus really real Mom?”
“Yes Kallie, I know he is real. Do you think he is real?”
“I don’t know. I think he might be. But I’m just not sure.”
I promised her that she could know for herself if He was real. I promised her that He would answer her prayers. That she would feel that God lives and loves her. I testified that God lives and loves her.
I thought at such a tender age she would just take my word for it, but I was wrong. Weeks went by, we talked about the reality of Jesus Christ often and Kallie always had the same answer, “I just don’t know Mom.” As a mother I wondered if I was doing something wrong and I began to feel helpless. I wanted her answer to come, and started to question why Father in Heaven wasn’t giving me more direction as to how to help her.
More time passed. Water levels weren’t improving and things looked bleak. Our community united to pray for moisture and to fast, or refrain from eating food, for 24 hours as an exercise of our faith.
I was also still unsure how to best help Kallie. I finally just promised her that she could know Jesus was real by praying. I reminded her that all the members of our church in our area were praying and fasting for snow, and that only God and Jesus Christ could send us that snow. I told her that because Jesus was real and loved us he would send us snow, and when she saw it, she could know that Jesus was indeed real.
One afternoon, Kallie was asked to say a prayer of thanks for our meal. Kallie included in her prayer that we would get some snow. When she finished, I looked out the window at the huge snowflakes that were falling rapidly. With excitement I told Kallie to look out the window. Then, with tears in her eyes, she turned back to me and said, “He IS real Mom! I KNOW He is.” We cuddled close and watched the beautiful snowfall, each flake an answer to a little girl’s prayer.
This may seem like Kallie’s story of faith. However, as I watched those beautiful flakes fall to the ground any doubt of God’s reality or lack of awareness of us dissipated. I honestly believe that God felt Kallie’s prayer to know of His reality, was every bit as important as the thousands praying for moisture that winter. I was reassured that not only does He live and love us, but His timing is perfect.