Learning Grace In Motherhood: Nicole Madsen

May 30, 2017

My son Dylan had his first seizure when he was 4 years old. Admittedly, I panicked. Our oldest son ran from the room, frightened, while I cried and tried to talk to Dylan as he was seizing. I think I remember saying “what do I do?”, over and over, while my dear husband remained calm. Looking back now to this life changing event nearly 11 years ago and knowing what I know now, it was a small seizure that only lasted maybe a minute. But when it’s happening to your sweet baby boy, as all parents know, it might as well have been forever. After a few doctor appointments and many tests, we came to discover that he had something called Tuberous Sclerosis Complex, a rare disorder that causes tumors to form in many different organs, primarily in the brain, eyes, heart, kidney, skin and lungs. The aspects of TSC that most strongly impact quality of life are generally associated with the brain: seizures, developmental delay, intellectual disability and autism.

Shock and disbelief. And heartache. Oh, the heartache!

I clearly remember sitting in the doctor’s office, staring at the neurologist after hearing the diagnosis. What was this disease I had never heard of? I felt like I should cry, but the tears didn’t come. I was in more than a little denial. I remember thinking, I can’t do this! This is one trial that I just cannot bear. I’m not patient enough, I’m not strong enough, and I’m not the mother he needs. In the months that followed I could barely let him out of my sight without a feeling of panic. I got up several times in the night to check on him, afraid that he would have a seizure while sleeping. I remember once standing at the kitchen sink in the middle of the day and finally just sobbing, praying, pleading with the Lord for help and strength, to help me know what to do, how to help my son. This was the beginning of my journey to learning to ask for and accept the gift of grace from Heavenly Father through His son, Jesus Christ.

Continue Reading

Motherhood: A Grace Period

Do you ever feel, as I often do, that the cosmos have a sense of humor?  That the very things we are weak in, those are the things we somehow get an extra dose of to muddle our way through? Without going into too…

May 23, 2017

Teaching Children Grace : “Grace Boots”

 Today, guest writer Amber Robbins is sharing how it’s sometimes the lessons we teach our children that teach us the most about the Savior’s grace. Thank you for sharing Amber! A few months ago I was looking for a way to teach my two oldest…

May 19, 2017

Free Scripture Memorization Print: 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Here’s the thing friends. I look for these scriptures a few weeks before they are posted so that a wonderful artist (this month its Natalie Larsgard) can create a print for you. The funny thing is, even though I do this for the benefit…

May 18, 2017

Feeling Fulfilled as a Mother

On the hard days, I feel guilty.  Shouldn’t I always feel joyful that I am a mother?  Why is it sometimes very difficult to feel fulfilled in this role? To be fair, let’s acknowledge that this is a tough era in which to be a parent. I…

May 13, 2017

May’s Study Guide: Grace

Welcome May! As spring is in full bloom, so are our hearts here at The Small Seed. We’re ready to dive into “Grace” with you, but first–some exciting news! For the last few months we’ve been praying to know how to connect more deeply…

May 11, 2017

Finding Peace in the Storm

“How did we get here?” I thought to myself. I sat on the floor with my 15-month-old obliviously playing in front of me. I was trying to process what had taken place only moments before. My husband of five years had just walked out…

April 30, 2017

Faith-Based Parenting : “See a Need and Fill It”

I remember, very vividly, a conversation I had with my parents when I was a little girl. We were in the kitchen putting our dinner plates away after a big Sunday dinner. My mom said, “If you see someone working on something, such as…

April 25, 2017

Finding Peace Through Hope

Of faith, hope and charity, hope is the quieter sister.  She is shy but stubborn.  I have seen hope for the recovery of a sick child, even after hospital rooms and the threat of death are familiar.  Hope to finally meet Mr. Wonderful after…

April 16, 2017

Finding Peace Through Prayer

I have found peace through prayer.  In my daily walk through life, I reach out to God often, explaining my very mortal emotions.  I know He already understands these things, but my time in counsel with Him is essential to my own wellbeing.  He…

April 15, 2017